Thursday, May 17, 2012

Me (and the President) on Gay Marriage

A few days ago President Obama made history by saying that he supports the rights of gay couples to marry. Obama is the first sitting president in US history to make such a statement. I've heard a lot of specualtion since then on just why he made the statement at this time and there are a lot of cynical speculations from all sides. I imagine that the President had mixed motives (most people do for any big decision) but I do think he is saying what he honestly believes and that it was a good thing to say. Obama talks about an "evolution" of his attitudes toward gay marriage. I have to confess, I've been through a similar evolution. When I first learned about homosexuality (around 9th or 10th grade I think) it seemed strange to me and a little scary (different things are often scary.) I didn't know any gay people (at least, not that I was aware of) and it seemed strange to me that people could have an orientation so different than mine. Fortunately, I had wise parents and a good church who helped me understand that this was just one of the many ways people were made differently, like skin color, or left vs. right-handedness, or nationality. Gay people were people, and should be treated with the same respect and kindness as anyone else. That was very much the attitude of my church growing up. The focus was seldom on the nature of homosexuality but on how we, as people of faith, should treat others. As I went through college I learned a lot more. I still don't feel I have a complete understanding of the root causes of homosexuality, but I have learned enough to know that it neither unnatural (it happens in many places in nature) nor is it a "lifestyle choice" the critics claim it to be. I have learned a lot more about the Bible and homoseuality and feel I can speak with some authority there. I can say that the laws in Leviticus that condemn a man having sex with another man don't apply to the modern world any more than the laws phohibiting wearing blended fabrics, trimming your beard, or eating shellfish. These laws were meant to address the danger of cultural assimilation in ancient Israel and were never meant as eternal moral dictates. I can say with confidence that, while the New Testament condemns manipulative, abusive and indiscriminate homosexual behavior, it condemns the same behavior in heterosexuals in the same breath. In no place does the Bible condemn a loving and committed gay relationship. You have to manipulate the scripturrs to try to pretend otherwise. So, I've been generally supportive of gay rights, but gay marriage was an evolution. I never bought into the idea that gay marriage would somehow undermine heterosexual marriage. I've never heard even an attempt to explain how it could, for critics the unsubstianted claim seems enough. But it seemed to me that marriage was different somehow. I thought gay partners should have equal legal rights to married couples but I resisted putting the label marriage on it, and wondered why that should ne needed. It's hard to explain because it was more an emotional reaction than a rational one. I was also aware of some gay activists sayingthey didn't want to call it that because, for them, the word "marriage" carried a lot of baggage. I came to accept the term gay marriage a little reluctantly, but I realized that unless this was recognized as marriage, opponants would always have an easy way to undermine it. Then, I heard a gay speaker why swept away the last of my reservations. She pointed out that we really have only one term for people who want to commit themselves to a life long loving relationship, to proclaim their committment in public, and to ask God's blessings on it. She said that there is disagreement about whether to call it gay marriage within the gay community, but it's one that's that needs to be resolved there, not by straight people dictating what it should be. I don't know if President Obama's evolution has been like mine, though it sounds as if it may have. In any case, I sympathize with his struggles, I respect his sincerity, and I'm proud that he (and I) have ended out being fully supportive of this.