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We interrupt this blog series for a quick bit of mail.

I get notices every so often from Christian groups trying to mobilize support for something. This morning I got one from a group called Church World Direct. I opened it because the name was so similar to Church World Services, which does amazing relief and community redevelopment work across the world.

This is different. Instead of reaching out in service to the hurting people of the world, this group devotes it's time and efforts to working against marriage rights for gay couples. I was disappointed.

This is from the letter:

First, for many, there is some cause for rejoicing given the November 2008 ballot results in Arizona, Florida and California, where same-sex marriages are now banned. Nevertheless, the attack upon the biblical understanding of marriage continues unabated. Still, we are encouraged that thirty states have now passed bans on same-sex marriage.

I have got to say some things about this.

First, I'm sick of slogan "the biblical understanding of marriage". The truth is that marriage in modern America bears almost no resemblance to marriage in the Bible. In those ancient times men were allowed several wives, in addition to the sexual services of any number of female slaves. Women and children were nothing more than property in those unions. A woman could be mistreated and there was next to nothing she could do about it. A man could divorce his wife for any reason and she would be out on the street with no money, no possessions, no access to her children, and no hope of remarriage. She would have to do whatever she could to survive, which could mean gleaning, begging, or prostitution.

The Bible doesn't glorify this; in fact there are numerous passages that scold callous husbands for their abusive behavior. Still, the writers of the Bible assumed that this model of marriage was the way things were. If we modern people assume that there is a biblical model of marriage that we have to copy, we are making the tragic mistake of confusing the culture of those ancient peoples for the will of God.

The truth is that the institution of marriage that we have in modern America is better in many ways than what was known in ancient times. It's better because there is an assumption of equality between husband and wife. It's better because, even when husbands want to treat their wives and children like glorified pieces of furniture, there are legal protections. It's far from perfect, but it's taken some important steps in the right direction.

Groups like this one will point out that there are still many problems. They point to a too-high divorce rate, and staggering number of children being born and raised in single parent homes as a problem. They point to the much higher stresses on children being raised without a father which lead to higher rated of substance abuse, premature sexual activity, and imprisonment and say its crisis.

And it is...but the next thing they say is blatantly untrue. They claim that these problems are somehow caused by, or at least directly connected to, committed gay unions. They claim that allowing gay marriages will somehow worsen the problems facing marriage in America.

It baffles me why they say this. I've looked for some kind of logical argument and have never found one. There's the vague assertion that, as toleration of gays has increased, the problems in marriages have increased. The implication is that one has somehow caused the other, but that's not a logical assumption. Following that reasoning you can also 'prove' that global warming is caused by a decline in the number of pirates.

I was married for 20 years. My marriage recently ended because of problems that had (surprise) nothing to do with whether gay couples were allowed to marry. In fact, I suspect if you poll divorced people or people in struggling marriages in America you won't find any significant number who attribute their issues to gay couples.

Groups like this one don't actually care about the health of traditional marriages, that's just a smoke screen. They know they can muster a lot of support for their cause (marginalizing gay people) by pretending that they're actually protecting something that most people care about. If they actually cared about marriage, they'd likely spend at least some of their time and money creating resources to help people in struggling marriages.

To go back to the Bible for a moment: It doesn't present any clear model for how a family is supposed to be structured, but offers a great deal of guidance on how people in a family are to be treated. If we care for one another, deal honestly with each other, show kindness and respect, make certain the strong do not abuse the weak, and place the welfare of others ahead of our own desires, we will have stronger marriages, stronger families, and stronger communities.

That's the approach of faith, and it's always better than looking for some group to use as a scapegoat.